Fenix T5 Tactical Pen

Fenix T5 Tactical Pen

Picture this…you are driving along minding your own business when a torrential downpour floods the road and you hydroplane into a nearby pond.  Oh no!  As your car starts to sink into the murky brown storm surge you remember you have your handy Fenix T5 Tactical Pen clipped inside your left pocket.  Razzle Dazzle!  You smash the window of your vehicle with the hardened steel strike bezel on your T5 Tactical pen and because it’s constructed out of lightweight aircraft grade aluminum alloy the pen effortlessly creates safe passage for you through the broken glass.

You scramble your semi rotund upper torso out of the car window as water rushes in to complete your car’s trip to the bottom of the pond.  It belongs to the turtles now, say goodbye and swim to the surface because your adventure doesn’t end here.

Just as you amble your way up the bank, clawing your way through the reeds to safety; you see what appears to be a man wearing a fur coat aggressively lumbering your way.  He’s a big dude.  You realize apparently this guy lives in the picnic shelter at the outskirts of the pond and he’s been subsisting off of beaver meat as evidenced by his garment made of cobbled beaver pelts.

The dude is pissed.  You’ve invaded his space and he’s not happy.  As he takes a slash at you with his machete made from muskrat bones and willow branches you dip, slip and duck, barely avoiding the blow and instinctively you go full cowabunga oh him with the T5 tactical pen that is still firmly clenched in your fist from recent near death escape.  The same carbide tip that crushed the window now connects with his jugular.  You remember from your pre-deployment army combat lifesavers course that a main artery can bleed out in 3 minutes.

You flip the pen over and remove the cap and write “I’m sorry” on his forehead as he sinks slowly into the depths for the fish to feast on. You are surprised at how comfortable this pen is to write with and how clean the ink looks on his milky white flesh. What a day.  You lived to tell your tale and pen your adventure,  which may land you on the best seller list if you’re not careful.

I’m not saying this happened to me, but lets just say this pen is worth its weight in gold and thanks to Fenix and their flawless design and execution on this pen I’m here to recount my misadventure.  Until next time.




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